Commitment phobes and the gainfully unemployed

Oh its all about phobias - 2 whole posts while the rightful blogger has been away and the best I can muster is phobias and making it a bit sam centric.

Ali will be back next week to write up about her holiday and maybe any issues she is having about being one of the unwashed masses :) For now though you will have to make do with yet another from me.

When Ali left I promised faithfully to make sure I kept up some interest in her blog and put something (anything) on here ever day. Did I heck. But then neither did the last guest bloggers so at least I am in a quietly ashamed little gang of meant well friends. Ali is due back and the sum total of blogs is two on her return - utterly shameful - but I can explain. I am also unemployed with a boytoy in the city who just about manages to grin and bare it. However much to everyones surprise I don't actually have a free minute to myself. Ok I do, but I fill it with useful things like sending letters to the solicitors or tending to the gas men fitting the boiler or reading because I promised faithfully (again) that I would have that book review in or going for a lunch time coffee with friends or a boozy lunch. Seriously now I don't know how people manage to have a life and work a 45 hour week. When I do work (which sometimes I have to) my house falls apart. Theres washing up left in the sink for days, theres a build up of dust that would disgust Kim and Aggie, the boytoy gets fed any old crud thats in the cupboard because I haven't managed to shop that week. The the weekend comes and it is taken up with cleaning and food shopping and paying for bills.

Obviously when Ali gets home she will be straight on to finding another job to keep her in shoes and handbags (and incidentals like a roof over her head) but I suspect she will struggle to actually find time. I don't miss slogging my guts out for a minute and I have a sneaking suspicion that neither will Ms Petite.

Back to normal soon, and I am sorry to say that, although giving my opinion is one of my favourite things to do as regular readers will know, I won't miss the commitment that a daily blog brings and I will be glad to get back to being gainfully unemployed

Odd Phobias

Anyone have one?
Until last Thursday night I was held high on a pedestal of Nutterdom that my worst phobia was tidal waves. This seemed ridiculous to most of my friends given we live(d) on the South East Coast which happens to be attached to the English Channel, one of the most unassuming bodies of water in the Northern Hemisphere.
Nice – that’s what the English Channel is. Until of course we bugger up the planet so royally that 3m high tidal surges are about to become the norm. The first I heard about the imminent danger my children were in was when son younger called to say he would be home early that Friday as school was closed (during the week they live on the most easterly point of England, somewhere called Lowestoft, which is so dull that Norfolk won't admit to it) due to adverse weather conditions. Well I thought this rather odd given there was no bad weather happening up above us and although they were 100 miles away a bit of rain never hurt anyone and it certainly wasn't about to snow so I checked the schools website for closures which is when the panic set in. My worst fear realised. Day After Tomorrow happening in Norfolk at 7am the following morning. I spent the next 3 hours trying hard not to worry but had to go via the children’s godfather for information which even he had to be pressured into getting for me (oh the trivialities of relationships). I was desperate to tell their father to get them out of their right now - Lowestoft was being advised to evacuate for God’s sake. What was he doing watching TV and sniggering at the hysterical ex wife for her melodrama.
The news just wouldn't give up on it (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7085394.stm) and of course this fuelled my fears. By bedtime the boytoy had thrown enough gin into me that he could get a decent nights sleep and I passed out with the alarm set for 7am when the wave was due to hit the East Coast.
Boytoy and I woke at 7am Friday morning to watch the surfers of Great Yarmouth and Lowestoft having the time of their lives. A little bit of flooding up the coast but nothing that couldn't be dealt with and certainly not the massive loss of life that was expected the night before. This wasn't really any succor for my soul though. My children are now in danger of being in the English version of some Hollywood type end of the world and my worst fears are justified. Can't help but feel a little smug though that, once again, even though it may have taken a good many years to prove it, I was RIGHT. HA!!!

Ali Update

Hello there people. I am the assistant blogger while Ali is away sunning herself in Thailand. And what better place for her to be than on holiday given the day before she left she was "let go". I'm not giving anything away here and she asked that I cover this before her return so she can get on with stories of elephants up cliffs and how long she spent in the jacuzzi.

Clearly life over there in the slow lane is getting to her and she is worrying about just how much gossip she is missing out on. And so we don't forget her some of her bestest friends got a text at 4am this morning letting us know she is alive and well and possibly a bit squiffy. Bless

Now I have finally worked out how to get into the blog I shall be posting at least one more but I don't want anyone getting all excited and thinking I will be in the least bit more interesting than handbags, shoes or my latest star spot (Griff Rhys Jones so you know)

Ttfn

Right then people, just a quick post to say that as of today, I'm away on my holidays until 19th November, so you'll have a well deserved break from my ramlings and bullshit.

That said- I have found a guest blogger replacement in the form of my friend Samantha, who many of you will know. She is equally as well qualified as me to ramble, procrastinate and talk utter bollocks (I know she'll agree). Infact, being several years my senior, with two teenage boys, she is no doubt better qualified.

I will bid you farewell. When I get back it seems there's a very very good chance I could be unemployed as the future of my agency is looking very bleak at the moment. Infact I've not been paid for the last month of work I've done and as I type I'm sitting in the office working for free. Despite increasing my overdraft by £2k my finances look dire and I could well be about to depart on a 2 week holiday for which I won't get any holiday cover. Fantastic! That'll learn me working for a cute small company.

At least this will give me lots of humourous stuff to write about, and I'll be beginning my campaign in Thailand on Steve to see if he'll agree to me becoming a kept woman. It could be the ideal time to start up that dog sanctuary I've always dreamed about.....

I'll catch up with you all soon,

Over and out for now xxx