Content...how boring!

As my friend Sam once pointed out, when life is rosy and easy, then it doesn’t make for particularly interesting blogging does it? So I’m suffering from an acute case of blogging block until something amazing and blog-worthy happens.

Until then, I’m keeping a low profile! The only very dull news is that I’m moving this weekend, oh yes I am! It’s back to the basement flat armed with black bin liners and boxes and lots of will power and energy. I’m feeling quite weird about the whole affair. Having been fairly remote from Brighton for the past few months, I feel I have almost ‘got over’ the not being there- although I do miss the people quite sorely.

What’s concerning me is that I’ve now lived (on the whole) fairly happily with Steve, woken up next to him every morning and ate with him and well, he’s kept me company for the past few months and I think I’m really going to miss him. Of course, if things map out, our short term plans are to buy somewhere together, and we’re going to start looking at the beginning of 2008, which isn’t that long. In the meanwhile I have a year of fun and ‘freedom’ with my friends….but I’m wondering, am I mentally ready to settle already? Could I happily skip the friends phase? Well, yes, I suppose I could. But I think that it is going to be a good experience for me, and for us. And I’m hoping that the best part of a year apart will mean that when we do buy, we’re really excited and looking forward to doing it together, and refreshed from a year not being in each other’s pockets. I guess only time can tell….and in the interim, I’m just looking forward to having my entire wardrobe to chose from in the morning rather than the meagre selection of overwashed t-shirts and ill-thought-through sandals which have not accounted for this rainy miserable spell….grrrrr.

Smile, and the world smiles with you

I’m feeling exceedingly jolly today. Perhaps this is down to the fact that I watched my favourite programme on TV last night and it was as splendidly backstabbing as ever. Or maybe it’s because we’ve found somewhere to live and apart from a couple of minor things…like not having seen it, it’s practically a done deal. It could be down to the fact that I’m excited because tonight I’m having dinner with a whole load of my favourite Brighton folk, Jonathan, Dan, Dave, Anita and Stev…but you know what’s really sad? The reason why I’m the happiest is work.

The last year I have been waking up on a Monday morning feeling bleak and hopeless and with very little will to get out of bed or to smile. For a period of many weeks, Steve and I used to argue terribly on a Monday morning, and it never really clicked until now why. Because I dreaded getting up and going to work, and there can be no worse feeling in the world. This made me short tempered and tense and ratty and basically a massive bitch. Now I’m sleeping through the night (I sound like a small child) and waking up with a spring in my step. I might be skint as I’ve not been paid for about 7 weeks, but I’m the happiest I’ve been for probably about 3 years.

Lots of happy things seem to happen around you when you’re happy…just like when you’re miserable, you seem to be surrounded by misery. If you get dumped, ‘nothing compares to you’ gets put on loop by every radio station, if you’re feeling guilty, every song is about lying, or being found out, and every story you read is about ‘a tangled web of lies and deceit’ and ‘getting your comeuppance’. The same applies to me. I’m hearing songs like ‘Lovely day’ and ‘Love is in the air’ and ‘Celebrate good times….come on!’ and reading stories about love, and happiness against all odds. My inbox has been flooded with invites to weddings, and receptions and 30th birthday celebrations, and 60th birthday celebrations (my mum). Funny how life follows these patterns much like the seasons…come to think of it…perhaps all this is nothing to do with my work, or my friends, or my boyfriend, or finding a new place. Maybe things are good simply because the sun is shining.

Sorry to be such a nudger….actually, sod it. No I’m not sorry for being happy. I’m happy and proud of it.