The big sulk

Sometimes in life too much happens and this means that keeping a blog becomes increasingly difficult- what do you give your time and love to? Should I cover important issues, or funny ones?

I have to also confess a slightly childish sulk at not being short listed for the Brighton and Hove Poxy Web awards. I mean those two bit hippies wouldn’t know a decent funny blog if it jumped up and bit them on their hemp covered bottoms (Dan and Jonathan’s blog aside of course). Anyway, enough is enough- what exactly has been going on in my life.

I’ll keep it to bullet points so you’re all in the picture without being desperately bored:

1) Holiday to Thailand- Bangkok- Chiang Mai, Samui, Koh Tao. Lovely- ate my own body weight in noodles and coconut milk and rather annoyingly didn’t pick up a severe case of the trots to shed aforementioned weight seamlessly. Am now moderate heifer. Managed fair few dives and took in some decent scenery including several strip joints and temples (and other places of worship). Met a lovely baby Elephant at the Elephant hospital, fell in love. Hairy little devil.

2) Day I left for holiday to Thailand got made redundant (whole company when into administration). Fantastic timing. Not only that but was told that I, along with all of my colleagues, would not be getting paid for the previous months work, or the 2 weeks of holiday I was about to leave for (in 4 hours!) or my notice period. Marvelous. Skint. Not able to undertake usual several hundred pound duty free binge. Ate sweaty 59p burger instead. Sulked.

3) Returned to family crisis- Dad has told Mum about new girlfriend. Mum slammed down phone. Communications meltdown. Torn between the two.

4) Return to Court Summons for unpaid Council Tax- a slight concern given awful financial circumstances. Thankfully all sorted now.

5) Am officially unemployed for 1 week. Make the heinous error of putting my CV on Monster in the ‘searchable’ section. Plagued by irritating swarm of recruitment consultants each more smarmy than the last. Become friend’s bitch dropping off dry cleaning, undertaking odd jobs. Feel lost and bored.

6) Start new job in Fulham. Bitch of a commute and longer working hours- 9-6pm. Due to ‘issues’ with my old employer have to be employed as a contractor = bag of shite as no holiday pay, sickness pay etc. On upside, some ‘financial stability’ over the Christmas period. No pay before x mas though so presents for family are looking grim- home made cookies anyone?

7) As luck would have it without 2 days of starting work pick up horrid bug and feel like have swallowed 10 razors. Have to work as overdraft is straining and bulging and Mr Bank Manager refusing to budge on any more handouts. Miserable fucker. Thank goodness for lovely boyfriend.

8) I think that’s about it. Of course there are lots more funny stories like the fact that Natalie’s boyfriend had to go and collect Dot Cotton from Croydon for a funeral over the weekend and the fact that Lindsey met Daniel Craig at the BAFTAS on Sunday, but they all make my poor, overdrawn existence seem depressing so I won’t dwell.

9) Steve’s talking about taking me to Tahiti in the New Year- must be exemplary girlfriend in meanwhile with minimal whining to stand chance. Without him I’d be holidaying in Skeggers for next decade.

10) I’ve been ill. This takes up lots of time moaning and whinging.

And that's me- bet you're glad you bothered!