The odd-coupling

Life is full of the unexpected and as a result we are all permanently on our toes. Which is great for definition of our calves, but not very good for our blood pressure.

One such unpredictable event has occurred in my life recently, and it’s one of those ‘out of my control’ things that doesn’t really effect me now, but could very well end up effecting me in a BIG way.

Steve’s wayward sister, who has recently been bouncing in and out re-hab like a cheap cracker rubber ball, has just announced to us that she is engaged. But there’s a sting in the tail and I think you’ll agree it’s a corker. She is engaged to a chap who she met in her recent stint in Stepping Stones in South Africa- a rehab centre for all kind of addiction you could ever dream of. The chap in question is a recovering cr*ck addict.

My initial reaction was ‘bloody brilliant, take the most suggestible human being I have ever met and marry her off to a true deviant of the drug world- it’s a recipe for disaster’ but then, I’ve been thinking, is this really a bad thing? Firstly, they have decided that they aren’t going to get married until they’ve been clean for a year. I don’t see that happening in the near future as at the moment, they seem to be struggling to stay on the wagon, but it’s an admirable sentiment at least. Secondly, well who better to marry an addict than an addict. Who else can really understand and truly empathise what goes on in their heads. What we do and say in terms of support and any emotional resonance really only boils down to little more than lip service.

Part of relapse prevention in most rehabilitation dictates that relationships, of any intimate nature, are best avoided until you have been clean for a year. I guess this is because relationships, as we all know, are far from plain sailing and someone vulnerable might well revert to their old ways in the event of any turbulence. Also, I suppose as a recovering addict, you aren’t necessary a ‘whole’ person just yet, and probably not best equipped to be dishing out your emotional strength and love to someone else like a kind of bottomless well, which you then find is drier than your mouth after a massive session. I guess the problem with that goes full circle to my first sentence. Life is hard to predict and sometimes, you meet someone and fall in love when you know it’s not ideal.

So this is how things stand. She’s living with another addict, neither of them are working, she has a bottomless pitt of money from which to fund anything their hearts desire and they plan to get married. Something tells me a very interesting story is brewing, especially as I’ve just put down the phone from Steve who has just met them and said they looked ‘tired after a bender at the weekend’. I hope they can prove me wrong and provide the kind of support to each other that only they could. I hope they can draw strength from one another and that moments of weakness don’t coincide. Ultimately, I suppose I hope I am standing in a church in a year or so’s time eating a large slice of humble pie. Anything that keeps her happy and Steve happy…