To Pa or not to PA?

Last week, Sam, Lindsey and I were sitting on the uber sofa discussing when we might get to see our friend Jess, who is very elusive, and, being in the early loved up stage of her relationship, is spending all her time ‘dating’ aka shagging.

At one point Lindsey asked me whether I could ‘do’ Tuesday night and I looked blankly at her….

The reason behind my blank expression is that all of my social commitments and plans are stored solely on my outlook calendar, which rather pointlessly is on my work PC. This is great when I get emailed at work and asked out, as I can answer conclusively. Outside work I am thrown into social disarray and double and even triple book my time haphazardly. Even worse is when I’m convinced I’ve committed to loads of fun social events so turn people down, only to find my diary is empty. Hurrumph.

At this point I suggested that the solution to all of our problems might be that we club together and hire ourselves a PA (although not a really desirable young one who Steve and Gavin might ogle and fancy and who might reduce Lindsey’s pulling powers which to date have been immense), so basically, we need Ugly Betty. Complete with braces, glasses and pot belly.

This lucky sole could be solely responsible for the allocation of our time, in proportionate measures, to spend with our friends and loved ones. They could deal with all occurrences of re-scheduling due to ill-ness, lateness at work, laziness, dinner table booking and also things such as searching for fab new venues, and generally making sure our social lives went nicely to plan. Never again would I guiltily ponder my forthcoming plans and think, I really must get up North to see my Grandma as it would be scheduled quarterly. Brilliant.

Of course this idea is ridiculous and self indulgent, but on a more serious note why is it that we can organise ourselves seamlessly in the workplace, getting to meetings on time, wearing nice things, booking trips away, opening our mail and sorting our filing and generally keeping on top of things whilst our private lives fall into disarray. Steve is a classic example. He effortlessly manages a reasonably large team, but he can’t manage to open his post every evening.

This gets to the point where a small post mountain forms on the breakfast bar and when feeling particularly callous (during the Portsmouth game yesterday) I dump it in front of him and ‘suggest’ he opens it. If not, I undertake the ‘shall we bin it or keep it’ routine where anything resembling spam gets binned without opening- coloured envelopes, printed addresses, no stamps, pictures on envelopes, mis-spelt names.

A risky business as I’ve binned mortgage statements and final reminder credit card bills in the past. But that’s the risk he takes. Sulk ensues.

Last week I realised how he manages to keep things in check at work…and I should have guessed it. I emailed him asking about which hotel in Paris we are staying in over the bank holiday weekend, and what Eurostar he was travelling on and I received an email from him, copying his PA, asking her to let me know. So for the rest of the day, instead of exchanging emails with my boyfriend, I exchanged them with
his PA who was miles more efficient, friendlier, and had a nicer email manner. Within minutes I had details of the hotel, the Eurostar, maps, phone numbers, helplines and everything I could ever possibly have wanted.

Perhaps I should arrange for a long term substitution….or just switch my ‘new shoes’ piggybank to a ‘PA’ one.