Wine rage

I'm keeping this brief as Gavin pointed out on Friday that my lacklustre posts are barely worth reading, so I won't labour this one!

On Saturday night I experienced what being an alcoholic must feel like.

After having had a particularly lonely day mooching around Hampstead Heath on my own like some kind of dog pervert (admiring glances at all the frolicking hounds) I made the decision that I wouldn't bother heading to a pub full of sweaty, loud, shouty, aggravated men watching the rugby, but instead stay in, cook a nice dinner and get quietly sozzled on my own. The perfect plan.

I donned my joggers and my hoody, grabbed my keys and my switch card and off I jogged to Sainsburys (sounds healthy but is in fact 2 mins jog and all downhill).

With my basket full of delights including a rather yummy bottle of Sauvignon Blanc I queued to pay. No sooner had I reached the check out when the insolent man held up the cool, crisp bottle of wine and said to me:

Twat: "I can't sell you this unless you've got some ID with you I'm afraid".

I could feel the rage bubbling up inside me, as I looked at him in disbelief. I'd never normally resort to swearing so quickly, but something inside me took over and I became a very very angry lady.

The conversation went something like this:

Ali: "You must be fucking kidding me right? Do you seriously think I look 17 years old?"

Twat: "I'm afraid I have to ask for ID if I'm not certain of someone's age. It's a legal requirement; do you not have any ID?"

Ali: "Funnily enough at 29 I don't often have to show ID to buy wine, and I've only got my switch card on me, so I can't prove my age"

Twat: "Well then I'm sorry, I can't serve you this" (dramatically removes my wine from the basket in a self congratulatory fashion- BIG mistake).

Ali: "Don't fucking make me go all the way home in order to come back in 15 minutes time with my ID, it's ridiculous" (turns to man at next counter along) "Does this look like the face of a 17 year old?....Ah? NO. I should be flattered but I'm so angry I could scream" (with raised screechy voice).

Manager appears.

Manager: "Is there some problem?"

Ali (red faced and shouting unabashedly): "Yes, this man won't sell me any wine and I'm 29 and this is ridiculous (losing the ability to talk)

Manager (sensing impending 'scene') "On this occasion we'll sell you the wine, but next time please bring ID"

Ali (fuming) "Oh I WILL" (and then a little quieter) "And if it's not too much trouble I'd also like some tobacco or do I need ID for that as well?"

Manager (snidely) "Actually you do need ID for tobacco as you now need to be 18 to buy that as well."

Ali sculks out with her wine and her tobacco and her red face. Glances back to see whole queue of horrified looking people. Humiliated. Only felt better after 3/4 of the bottle was consumed.