Relationships with my ex-tended family

As those of you who know me will know, I had a childhood sweetheart by the name of Andy, who I was with for the entire duration of university and two years afterwards...he was, well, he was lovely and generous and gentle and I have nothing but the fondest of memories of our time together.

In total we had a 5 1/2 year relationship which was spent on the whole living and breathing each other to the point of practical inseperability. We were in essence bestest mates and not a great deal more as time went by, but we were bloody good mates. We adored each other in a way I felt could never be surpassed...I hadn't taken into account our mums. The love my mum felt for Andy and Andy's mum felt for me in hindsight was more intense and has lived on well after the demise of our relationship.

Andy and I split amicably around 4 years ago, and to this day, even as recently as 2 days ago, our mums still communicate by email, telling each other how very sad they are that things couldn't have worked out and how great we were for each other. They had, it turned out, pinned their very 'grandparental' hopes on us. And these are hopes that don't fade over night, or even over 1200 nights, and counting. My mum cried as much as me, if not more when it happened and those kind of emotional scars run deep you know!

I am convinced his mum (and quite possibly mine at some level) still harbours real desires for us to get back together, and I sometimes wonder whether she she realises what a 'no-go' it is to even mention my name, or whether she waxes lyrical about what 'could have been' not realising that I have been intentionally wiped from Andy's memory of ever having existing.

So, our mums continue to exchange texts, Christmas cards and e-mails, swapping family news and having fond, sentimental thoughts of the past. And no-one can stop them, and do you know what? I wouldn't want to.

But this isn't the most extreme case of maternal-post-seperation-boyfriend-family-trauma experienced by a member of my family. My aunt befriended my cousins boyfriend's mum to the extent that they became actual best friends. They went on 'girly' holidays together, the two sets of parents, they went shopping, had coffee afternoons and were all as happy as larry. Until my cousin broke up with Richard and then disaster struck. My cousin was understandably distressed at the prospect of her ex-boyfriend's mum being on the scene to witness any future relationships and be able to 'report back'. So the friendship came to a natural end.

Like f**k it did. Infact, the ex's parents attended my cousin's wedding as guests of my aunt and uncle. Oh yes they did.

Is mine the only family that suffers from this kind of affliction? I think perhaps it's merely a symptom of having a very big heart, so perhaps for me, it's inevitable.