The flip side....

Ok, so there’s a flipside to yesterday’s posting. It may well be a trauma for a female of not 100% body confidence to leave a jacuzzi full of ogling men whilst wearing something which is riding further up her bottom as she climbs the stairs. It turns out (after additional market research today) that men suffer from a similar disorder.

I’ll call it the humili-clingy-effect.

It happens when men opt to wear baggy shorts or anything other than Speedos. Maybe to maintain their dignity, maybe to leave something to the imagination or maybe to not look like an utter twat. Whichever. It matters not. What matters is that these materials are most certainly not kind upon exit of the pool. They surge towards any protruding (or in very unfortunate cases, not very protruding) ‘item’s’ and create a ‘vacuum packing’ effect around the entire area. What tends to ensue: much panicky tugging and releasing the vacuum in a desperate bid not to give away any secrets (or lies might be more apt).

I imagine that if a man with a giant willy was exiting the pool, they probably wouldn’t rush to re-adjust their vacuum packaged knobs. Instead, they would strut, thrust and be quite sure that every lady eyes in the vicinity would be inexplicably drawn south of the shorts hemline to have a damn good ogle.

So I guess all’s fair in love, war, and swimming pools.