To oggle or not to oggle.

I’m not in love with my body, which is a sentiment shared by probably 99.99% of females everywhere. That said, I’m not stupid enough to make any real complaints as I know it’s got some redeeming features and if offered free plastic surgery I’m only likely to say yes on a bad day.

On a good day, I’ve been known to strut, but only if I’m wearing something I’m pretty sure I look good in. Otherwise I’ll shuffle like a weeble. Today I was faced with a real dilemma. After my aqua class I decided I needed to warm up by sitting in the Jacuzzi. As always, the Jacuzzi is full of sweaty post work out men, pink chopped and clammy skinned. I position myself as far away from all of them as physically possible and try and relax.

After 5 minutes I’m faced with the prospect of climbing out. Big deal. The issue here is that climbing out involves climbing up about 4-5 stairs facing away from the entire rest of the pool. I’ve done my research. I realise that without exception, ANY female bottom leaving the safety and sanctity of the warm waters receives nothing less than a darn good botty ogling. I know this isn’t a mark of approval/disapproval or even indicative of anything rather than a base male instinct, but still, today I’m not in the mood for bottom violation.

I contemplate reversing up the stairs scowling fiercely at all of the men. I contemplate sitting in the pool until I’m so shrivelled up I become invisible to the naked eye and then I can make my escape. In the end I realise my lunch hour is up, and try as I might I can’t put off my exit any longer. I suck in my tummy, give my bottom a firm talking to and march up the stairs. I don’t know for sure that I was violated, but I’m fairly convinced I was. As I reach the top I cant’ resist turning around to see if I can catch any of them in the act. As it happens, these men were well trained in evasive manoeuvres. I don’t catch any eyes, but I glare nevertheless.

I don’t suppose it’s possible that they just all didn’t fancy looking at my bottom, and if not, why not god dammit, it’s not THAT bad….and so the image issues continue on and on and on.