The mate-ing game

This morning was my first commute for some time, and my god, was it a toughie getting out of bed. I put this down to the fact that my bedroom has zero natural light as a result of the 2 inch thick plywood that's covering my window in the interim between spanking new double glazing....(with bars...so I can feel like a prisoner).

*NEWSFLASH*

They have caught our burglar. Apparently they caught the bumbling baffoon on another job and when they took him in to interrogate him he fessed up to our crime aswell. So all that time spent collecting brilliant forensic evidence....wasted! Apparently we get to find out his name and previous convictions in due course, so perhaps I ought to start a one women hate campaign and out the f*ker on my blog. Or not, best to let sleeping villains lie. What really annoys me is that there's some pikey female Brightonian chav out there wearing my diamond bracelet as a gift from her n'er do well boyfriend.

Right then.

On to more erm, pressing matters than petty crime.

As some of you will know I have a wonderful friend who lives in Leamington Spa. I won't name names, but we will refer to him as 'lovely'. Said friend has not been overly successful in the dating game and I have to ask the question, why why why?! I have other male erm associates with much lesser credentials who seem to wing it.

He's handsome, got a fantastic job, his own pad, swanky car, gorgeous sense of humour, good dress sense, he can cook, he can clean, he's a DIY god and generally speaking he's a bl**dy good catch.

I fear his self esteem has not been boosted by such helpful comments from his mum that perhaps he could find himself a nice girlfriend at the local branch of 'guide dogs for the blind'. Cue hysterical laughter.

Anyway, for the last few years I've been on and on at him to register and try out some on-line dating. Typically reserved and reluctant, he has made excuse after excuse and only put up a 'hidden profile' which allowed him to view potential datees, without them seeing him. Turns out most of them were mingers, but that's not the point.

Since some more promising action over the New Year, my lovely friend has suddenly realised that perhaps this is the way forward and is now all over it, and for anyone out there who has similar misgivings, well....get rid of them. If I were single I'd be internet and speed dating faster than a greyhound off the proverbial tracks. You might not meet the love of your life, but you'll certainly have some laughs, some stories to tell, and maybe make some a decent mate or two. And if you get some action out of it, surely it's worth the £6.99 per month.

On the positive side of said friend's current singledom, I am being taken as his 'plus one' on a two-day 'rick stein' trip to Padstow as part of some corporate jolly, including fancy cooking lessons, helecopter rides, etc etc. Brilliant....can't wait, and I'm sure there will be some blogging funnies from that one. He must love me as he's trusting me to behave around senior management.

Lobster for two please.