The small dog-like horse.

Is there anyone else out there who was (un)fortunate enough to watch GMTV with Lorraine Kelly this morning?

There was a classic 'feel-good', 'put a smile on your face' piece about a teeny Shetland pony who had been rejected by its mother some days after birth and adopted by a couple of boisterous black labradors who lived in the farmhouse.

The little pony was reared like a pet dog indoors and no doubt slept by a roaring log fire.

At 4 months old, the horse has begun to demonstrate 'worrying' and 'confused' dog like behavioural characteristics. It will only eat from a dog bowl, and it has developed a penchant for playing ball with the labs. It hasn't yet perfected the art of barking and whining or cocking it's leg, but presumably this is only a matter of time.

Of course the bl**dy horse is behaving like a dog. It was bought up by dogs. So what this 'news' piece boiled down to was an attempt on live TV to show the horse playing football with the dogs. The best part was when the presenter admitted that the 'horse/dog' had spent the morning biting her. Good. Dogs are great judges of character and this is clearly another characteristic the horse has acquired. For seeking out stupid, useless, moronic TV presenters and giving them a damn good chomp.

In more upmarket TV (ahem) celebrity big brother is brilliant. It's essentially an expose of Jade's family, warts, prosthetic limbs, missing teeth an' all. 3 generations of Goody and poor old Jack (Jade's bloke) who looks terrified. And you would be if there was any chance at some point in the future you would dipping into that gene pool.

In Jade's defence, she has brief moments of clarity and decent articulation, and as unpopular as this might be, I really like the girl. She has some real compassion, and despite the stupid comments 'how high is the sky' and to Jackson's brother, 'are you black?' she really is pretty endearing.

Go on the goody! Lets just hope there's no 'kebab' this time round. That we could all do without.